One's A Tree Hugger, The Other Is A Joker
This choice: "A Choice? After what you just did? Get back to licking worm." says Ivy (Back)
(Originally written by Windleaf)
Harley brushed her teeth fiercely, foaming at the mouth with toothpaste. She downed a glass of water, gargling it for a few seconds, before spitting it into the sink. Grinning broadly in the mirror her white teeth were near perfection. That’s just how she liked it. People with super white teeth looked unnatural. Then there came a knock at the door “Be right there Love Muffin!” Harley chirped in her Brooklyn accent.
Dressed in nothing but a thin white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, gray sweat shorts that stopped halfway down her thighs, she was a sight to behold for any self respecting Lady’s man. Her blonde hair was tied back into a bushy pony tail, and the lips of her mouth coated in Ivy’s special dark red (almost black) gloss. A good thing she knew Ivy was at the door, otherwise she might cause a nosebleed for anybody else. She opens the door and smiles at Ivy “Welcome home!”
“Thank you, but Harley dear, you know I don’t like being called Love Muffin.”
“Oops, sorry!” Harley replies cheerfully. Ivy walks into the apartment, stretches her arms out and yawns. “Busy night tonight Red?”
“Yeah,”
“You went to see that Paper Guy didn’ja? What was he like?”
“Just an arrogant, over important ass like most men. More concerned with lining his own wallet than spend a little extra on doing things the proper way.” She says sitting down on the couch.
“Good looking maybe?”
“…Attractive, in his own way I suppose. But why bother over looks and personality when I have you Harley?” Ivy smiled deviously.
“Someone’s feeling a little naughty and it’s not even Arbor Day. So what did’ja do with him?”
“At the moment, he’s in my boot giving my toes some good ol’ fashion lovin’ right now.”
“No way! How’s that possible?” Harley inquires mystified. Ivy points to the plant she’s still holding. “That thing shrinks people?” Ivy nods. All of a sudden Harley is at Ivy’s feet sliding one of her boots off. Harley searches inside one. Ivy clamps Harley’s nose playfully between her toes, wagging her finger “Guess again Love” 💖
Harley slips off the second boot and this time they both peer inside. “Hey Red, he ain’t in dis’ one either. You don’t think he kept shrinking did ya?” Ivy looks puzzled at Harley and then back into her boot.
“I… don’t think it’s possible.” Ivy said, but shrugged and leaned back into the couch, propping her feet up on an ottoman, “Though if he did, it’s no big loss.”
You weren’t microscopic actually. The comical truth is that you were stuck to the bottom of Ivy’s foot. In your quest to appease the Plant Mistress you had gone to clean the land down under. For a while it was actually nice. The pressure wasn’t too bad, you were starting to get used to the smell of Ivy’s feet, the sweat had become pleasantly cool and what the hell, she wasn’t killing you. Not to damn shabby. However, once she got out of the car, shit hit the fan. Every bone in your body turned to mush and somebody must’ve woken the dragon because things got heated fast. Next thing you knew, you were staring into the sole of Ivy’s foot with a cool breath at your back.
Stickiness couldn’t fight gravity anymore, so it yielded, and you fell on your ass, atop what you’d later realize was an ottoman. Your plummet from the summit of that mountain of a foot did not go unnoticed. Harley found you and flashed her teeth in a bright white smile. Then she burst out laughing.
“Hey Red, you said he was makin’ love to ya foot? Well it looks like he wasn’t finished yet.” And Harley pointed at you.
“What are y—Oh,” said Ivy after she moved her feet to the side “Look who decided to join us. Sorry Marshy, we didn’t mean to interrupt. You’ve got a lot of stamina for a little guy.”
Harley’s foot, tan compared to Ivy’s, with toes painted black began nuzzling your body. “I’ve always wanted a little pet” she mused “Don’t worry stud. Ever get them man urges and Red ain’t around to put you under foot, I’ll take care a’ya.”
“Mmmm… why put him under foot dear, a toe will do just fine.” Ivy smirked. They both laughed aloud till the joke was only a giggle. You did not find this funny. Bulldozing an orphanage to make way for a Waste Plant might be funny, but not this, and you knew funny…
“So what’s his name?” asked Harley.
“Depends.” Spoke Ivy, waving her hand back and forth “It’s Marshy when he’s being a doll. It’s worm when he’s starts acting like his usual self.”
“That so?” Harley turned her head to face you “What’s ya name little fella?”
You cleared your throat and spoke in the deepest, manliest tone you could produce “Blake T. Marshall at your service.” And gave a gentleman’s bow.
“Hah! He really is a doll. Hey, what does the “T” stand for?”
“Practically anything,” you responded.
“Tiny?” “No” “Toy?” “No”
“Are you sure?” Harley sighed “Those last two sounded pretty dead center.”
“It doesn’t really stand for anything. My parents never gave me a middle name. I only added the T because an article in Esquire said that it having a middle initial included in your full name made your seem more reputable in the business community.”
“…Okay. Then I think I have a name for you. I’ll call you Mr. T. How’s that?” All of a sudden you started thinking about Mohawks, muscles, bling and the theme song of the A team whirled through your head. You just nodded your head politely. “Yay, we’re going to have so much fun.” She looked over at Ivy who seemed very amused by the exchange between Blake and Harley “Hey Red, I might not even need to rob a bank this month!”
What ungodly mess have you gotten yourself into? What’s more, when will it end?
"...So Harley, since you're so enthusiastic, have any ideas for what we do next?"
Harley responds...
You now have these choices:
1. "Pop some corn, cuddle up, watch a movie, and force Mr. T to worship our feet"
2. "Great idea! We can rob a bank and take Mr. T with us," *
* indicates the next chapter is blank and needs to be created.
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